WIVES, TAKE YOUR RIGHTFUL POSITION

by Veronica A. Robinson 

Submission is not a position we welcome in a marriage.  It requires submitting or yielding to the authority or control of another.  In the marriage, who should submit?   Why would God require the wife to submit in the marriage?  How do you submit to someone who is not saved?  These are the questions I asked when I was seeking God’s direction concerning my unequally yoked marriage.  I was miserable and looking for a way out of my marriage when a young lady slipped me a note, which read, “Husband will be won by your submission.  Learning to walk in God’s love brings you into submission.  Claim the promise of 1 Peter 3:1.”  I did just that and it worked for me and now I’m claiming the same promise for all the 1 Peter 3 wives that are out there today.    

 I want to share with you in this article how God ministered to me when I was seeking His direction regarding submission.

 First, Who Should Submit?  Scripture clearly tell us it’s the wife’s responsibility to be in subjection to her husband.  This does not imply any kind of natural inferiority on the part of the wife to her husband.  In marriage, two people become one.  Therefore, there are two intellects, two sets of emotions, and two wills that have been joined to constitute one.  To keep the union from fracturing and destroying itself, one of those persons is charged with leadership in the relationship, and one is charged with submission.

 So wives submit to your husband as unto the Lord.  This pleases God and it will make submitting a lot easier to do.

 A cheerful subjection, and a loving, reverential respect, are duties which Christian women owe their husbands, whether they be good or bad; these were due from Eve to Adam before the fall, and are still required, though much more difficult now than they were before, Gen 3:16; 1 Tim 2:11.

 Why Should Wives Submit?

Their husbands may get saved as a result of their behavior.  “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;” 1 Peter 3:1, KJV

 Wives sanctify unbelieving husbands.  “And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife,” 1 Corinthians 7:13-14a, KJV

“For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband?” 1 Corinthians 7:16a, KJV

 It was in 1982 when the note I mentioned above was given to me.  That note gave me hope.  Hope to stand in an unequally yoked marriage for ten years.  My husband was lost and I knew that Christ loved him just as much as He loved me.  I knew it was God’s desire that he not perish but come to repentance.  I then submitted to God’s will and allowed Him to use me as a vessel to draw my husband into the kingdom.  My husband chose to dwell with me in spite of my Christianity; I continued walking in the light of the Word allowing it to change my behavior; and God did the rest.

 It has always been my desire to experience the Christian marriage as God ordained it to be.  But in September 1992, after 28-1/2 years of marriage, my husband went home to be with the Lord.  His salvation meant more to me then anything else.  It was worth it all.

 If your husband is lost and pleased to dwell with you, you’re the closest one to him and God will use you as a vessel to draw him into the kingdom, if you will let him.  He will give you the grace you need to endure in every situation.  Lean not to your own understanding but acknowledge God in all your ways and He will direct your path.

 The commands are clear in the Word of God concerning why wives should submit to their husbands. Now, lets look at some suggested ways of how to submit.

 How Do You Submit To Someone Who Is Not Saved?

Submit as unto the Lord.  “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22, KJV  

 Renew your mind to the things of God.  “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Romans 12:2, KJV

 Obey not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God.    “Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;”  Colossians 3:22-23, KJV

 Be a doer of the word.  “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” James 1:22, KJV

 Polly Wigglesworth’s behavior in her marriage when Smith Wigglesworth had fallen in a backslidden state is a good example of how to submit.  She never nagged her husband into changing his attitudes.  Over a period of two years in this ‘spiritual wilderness’, she lovingly and prayerfully enticed her husband back to the place where he had been on fire for his Lord.

 For me personally, submission came as I read and meditated on Matthew Chapters 5, 6, and 7.  Reading these chapters over and over again taught me how to walk in God’s love.  It helped me to focus on my behavior and not so much on my husband’s.  Taking it one day at a time, I renewed my mind in the Word, and purposed in my heart to not be a hearer only but a doer of the Word.

 Take a personal inventory of your behavior in the marriage to ensure that you are not a hindrance to God’s plan for your husband’s life.  It’s so easy to look at and see the other person’s fault.  You must turn your focus inward and let God show you yourself.

 Submission is not stupidity.  Submission in marriage is God’s way of setting order in the marriage union.  Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord.  Allow God to use you as a vessel to draw your husband into the kingdom.  Ask Him for wisdom, knowledge and understanding in your marriage.  Take a personal inventory of your behavior in the marriage on a daily basis to ensure that you are not a hindrance to God’s plan for your husband’s life.  Last, but not least, learning to walk in God’s love will bring you in submission.  When confronted with difficult situations, put the question before God.  Ask Him, “What would you do if you were in my situation?”  Go to God with an open heart.  Imagine your heart is a blank sheet of paper and let God write upon your heart His will for you in your marriage.  His ways are not our ways and will oftentimes go against your flesh.  Submit your will to God and whatsoever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord, and not unto men.

You have an awesome responsibility and I will continue to pray for you and your marriage.

 God Bless You.

 Feel free to write me if you have any questions, comments or prayer request.

WIVES, TAKE YOUR RIGHTFUL POSITION

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